WHAT SHAPED ME INTO THE ROLES I HOLD WITHIN THE BIRTHING COMMUNITY:
Hi, I'm Haley! A little about me and what drives me to be the support YOU need: When I was younger I had this vision of how I would become a momma, how the pregnancy would go, how the birth would be so peaceful and naturally in the water. When I got pregnant at 16 all of my visions were halted and it immediately became someone else’s vision that was coming to life. I was not able to have a water birth at the time due to 'my age', I now know that’s absurd. I was also convinced by my medical team that an epidural was what I needed and Pitocin was administered prior to any explanation of what it would do or how my body could react to it.
The whole birth was out of my control, or so I thought. It wasn’t peaceful. It was nowhere near natural. I was sad, defeated, and unhappy with how things had gone. I thought for sure that with my next baby, I would have my voice heard. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case either. The provider I had at the time pushed an induction, and despite trying so hard to advocate for myself, all of my desires fell on deaf ears. I was heartbroken. He was supposed to be my last baby, and I never got the “dream birth” I had so longed for.
Years had passed, and I had just accepted this was how it was. I convinced myself this was just the norm. Especially after hearing so many other mothers' birth stories and learning that they, too, weren’t able to choose for themselves. I had gone on to become a pre-k teacher and went through the nursing program.
I was happy, content, and soon after, I met my now husband. Life was moving swimmingly, and then it wasn’t. I realized I wasn’t doing what I wanted with my life, I wasn’t happy, and this wasn’t where I was meant to be. I knew a hospital setting made me happy, I knew babies made me glow with joy, I knew helping others brought me peace like nothing else, and I knew nursing and teaching were no longer where I was supposed to serve and dedicate my time. I took a year off from working. And one year to the week, I enrolled in the DONA doula program.
Two hours into my course, I felt it in my bones. THIS WAS IT. I was home. My soul was happy. Through the course and speaking with other fellow doulas and my trainer, I came to realize that I had my own birth trauma, that during my births I had been taken advantage of, that I had my voice muted, and NONE of that was okay. I became a doula to save other mothers from experiencing the birth trauma I once endured, to show other mothers that the birth they want is the birth they deserve.
In 2022, I chose to help a couple welcome a little baby into their lives, but this time not as a doula; I had become their surrogate. In May of 2023, with the help of my husband, my wonderful doula, and the incredible hands-off support of my birthing team at Full Circle and St. Vincent's, I was able to heal my birth traumas and give birth to a healthy, beautiful baby girl. As a doula, I can truthfully and wholeheartedly say hiring a fellow doula and having a birthing team that not only supports you but truly believes in you and your power is not only worth it but necessary. As a doula, it is at the core of who we are to be peace. To bring strength and encouragement. Every mother deserves a doula at her birth.
That's my story, now let's write yours!!
xo, Haley